‘Enchanted Forest’ frosh formal renamed ‘Enchanted Commercial Agriculture Zone’

This previous week, the Stanford Class of 2025 studyy to partake in a beloved campus custom: the annual Frosh Formal. Wright hereas the Frosh Council initially deliberate the formal’s theme to be “Enchanted Forest,” particular curiosity teams Inside the agricultural enterprise provided to hedge the monetary value of the formal in commerce for consultants’ promise to re-theme the formal as “Enchanted Industry Agriculture Zone.”

The unlikely partnership emerged a quantity of weeks in the past, as consultants of Frosh Council have been scrambling To Increase enough money to cowl the hefty prices of catering and decor. Pretend shrubs and evergreen decorations, important for any forest-themed event, have been notably costly. Frosh Council consultants started emailing alumni, asking for donations or monetary assist.

By a stroke of luck, Gretchen Woods ‘83, The general public relations coordinator for Worldwide Farming Industries, co., responded with A suggestion. Worldwide Farming would donate $4,000 to Stanford’s Frosh Formal planning efforts, with Simply one string hooked up — that the event’s theme “mirrored Worldwide Farming Industries’ values and mission for change Inside the Twenty first century.”

“This partnership Helps to dismantle dangerous anti-agricultural stigma by aestheticizing productiveness and enterprise as a strain for change,” defined Woods, who personally useful swapping the formal’s tree-lined entry for an upscaled cattle headgate. “Everyone thinks forests are dreamy, however till you stand In the midst of acres of soybeans And film The two or three lovely cattle That they will feed, you don’t know what you’re lacking.”

College students throughout campus, collectively with Frosh Council consultants, have expressed their views on the formal’s new theme.

“Forests Are only so 2008,” Recognized Frosh Council consultant Ellen Wright ’25, who has spearheaded the group and planning of the formal. “With the disappearance of hundreds of hundreds of hectares of forest per yr, dancing beneath stars and utility tractor attachments Is merely a extra hip and current take.”

“Tright here’s additionally the added bonus of donated decorations,” added fellow consultant Danny Luong ’25, while securing leftover fertilizer sprayers in a bouquet-like association on An in depth-by desk. 

Environmental activist teams on campus have launched statements criticizing Frosh Council’s partnership with Worldwide Farming, calling it a “dangerous precedent” which “romanticizes environmental degradation and deforestation” catalyzed by cattle farming and agriculture On the earth’s quickly shrinking forests. However, consultants of Frosh Council insist that the transfer was The one value-efficient selection at their disposal. “The solely hazard right here is dangerously lit moo [sic],” said Wright.

Editor’s Notice: This textual content material Is solely satirical and fictitious. All attrihoweverions On this article Aren’t real, and this story Ought to be study Inside the contextual content material of pure leisure solely.